Din Tai Fung

Din Tai Fung: I am DTF

Oh me so horny, oh me so horny, oh me so horny, I love you long time. 

I had to do it kids. Its that kinda joint and Din Tai Fung does actually make me horny and it will do the same to you or I don’t know my xiaolongbao

Check, check, check, check, check, check. check, check...Jesus that's a lot.
Check, check, check, check, check, check. check, check…Jesus that’s a lot.

Din Tai Fung has become more than an institution, it’s an international franchise and one that has earned a Michelin star rating at both Hong Kong branches. Originally, the restaurant was founded in the 1980’s in Taipei, Taiwan by Yang Bingy.

How cool is that name? I want to party with him.

Where the magic happens!
Where the magic happens!

Now, I am not one to normally endorse a franchise. They suck a sweat dripping warthog nut sack…for the most part. However, Din Tai Fung which has locations in over nine countries, is the balls. And not in a bristly warthog way, more like in a cool, uncompromising Steve McQueen kinda way.

I’ve been to two locations. Arcadia#1 which is a pain in my taint to get to and quite frankly too popular, way overcrowded and impossible to justify an hour plus long wait. I won’t even do that for Franklin Barbecue. Or at least I haven’t… yet.

The Sunday Brunch scene was so bad, I had to order it to go and by the time I opened up my boxed brunch at home, its time had past. The flavor a mere shadow of what I had been told I would expect.

That’s the secret to steamed food, you have to have it right out of the kitchen. Stars that burn twice as bright burn half as long.

Dumpling House for the Mall Shopper
Dumpling House for the Mall Shopper

This is where Din Tai Fung’s  Americana at Brand location in Glendale, CA comes into the picture. I live in Los Feliz, CA only 10-15 minutes away.

Normally, going to a restaurant located in a mall or even on the same street as a mall would turtle my righteous erection way back up into my pelvis but Din Tai Fung is an exception to the rule and I placed my consumer aversions aside because this dumpling house offers amazing versions of things on this planet that I hold preciously close to my palate. Noodle Soups. Steamed / Fried Dumplings. Fried Noodles and Fried Rice. Yes, they are known for their dumplings, famous actually, but EVERYTHING they make out of this magical kitchen deserves a slow golf clap.

Dirty little whore.
Dirty little whore.

Their juicy pork dumpling are tiny little flavor blasts that will rocket your tongue into the stratosphere.  They are juicy. They are delicately porky and the dough absorbs the flavor as successfully as it dissolves in your mouth.

Fancy Shrimp and Pork  Pot Stickers
Fancy Shrimp and Pork Pot Stickers

Their fried shrimp and pork dumplings was served in a way I had never seen. They were steamed first then fried only on one side with a dash of added batter, creating a creme brulee light crunch on the top which made for a lovely juxtaposition in texture. Also, they stuff it minced pork on the bottom and rest a whole shrimp on top. If you look closely you can see the dough hugging the goodies tightly, the layer so delicate it breaks apart in your mouth on impact. Thumbs high, Bingy!

I want to snorkel you.
I want to snorkel you.

But the surprise winner of the day was the Spicy Braised Beef Noodle Soup.

Get the fuck out of town!

The beef was fatilicious, the broth, sweet salty Jesus. It was hardy oily beef juice lovin’ in a spoon and the noodles were slurptastically fun. I would pour this broth into my hard plastic To-Go Cup for my drive to work if I could but there’s that thing what’s it called, oh, yeah, blood pressure.

Well then I’ll just make it a once in a while little treat like cocaine or smack.  And you should too, DTF is worth it and will not kick you out of the motel room after your time has run out.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Do The Math +